Moving on...

I got the job in Tucson. The interview went well. I feel very confident about teaching and working in the school. It appears from the interview that I have a lot of background that may become a handy thing to have in my arsenal of experience. (Oh, wait, as a sub, I have no "experience". Yeah, right!)

So I have been packing, researching paperwork, licensing (teaching and driving), obtaining a place to live, and organizing. Shopping, too. Lots of shopping. It has been a busy month. I have also played golf, read, hung out with friends and enjoyed the beautiful weather I am about to give up.

And I have been attempting to quell the inner fears. The concerns about how I will adapt to a new city, a new culture, a new environment. The worries about learning the computer system, the software, and creating my little classroom. That niggling, dark wonder, "Will they like me?" And the fear that what I leave behind will change, ignore, or forget me.

As I sit on my couch, making my daily list of things to do, it occurs to me this is the last Friday I will have here, for awhile. My corgi snoozes peacefully nearby, the cat purrs from her kitty apartment, and the puppy is running around our backyard, digging into fresh, earthy, mole mounds. Suddenly, so few days are left. And as I type those words, anxiety blooms from deep within, spreading quickly, reaching my fingers and toes, stinging my eyes.

Opportunity is not without risk. I know that I am capable to taking this on. I want this chance to teach, to prove to both myself and the world that I am a great teacher. I have worked towards this moment, yet I find myself afraid as it approaches. In this quiet moment, sitting alone, the full weight of this decision settles upon my shoulders. That it does not come crashing down tells me that I am not alone, nor did I make this decision alone. My husband, my family and friends all support me and this choice, even though it brings with it a bittersweet goodbye - for now.

I look outside and see the sunlight speckling through the trees onto the forest floor. The day is waiting for me to take action. Dwelling on fears that keep me captive will do nothing for me. Focusing on my goal frees me to smile, enjoy the time I have remaining, and spurs me to action.

My to-do list for the day awaits. Off I go!