OK, Here is what I want in a classroom...

I had a fun breakfast with some teacher girlfriends today, and of course, the topics surrounding the teaching profession came up.

One of the biggest issues is about pay for student achievement, and standardized testing being the measure of student achievement.

So I decided that if a bunch of bureaucrats who haven't set foot anywhere near a classroom since they left elementary school are going to to make decisions about what standards I have to teach to, then I can make a list of what I want in a classroom.

1. Limit of 15 students.
2. Students cannot need to learn in different ways.
3. Students all must start the year at the same learning spot, that is, that they all know everything from the previous level.
4. They are perfect students who never talk out of turn, are always organized, and listen to my directions the first time. They ask questions that are germane to the topic, and take inquiry and learning seriously at all times.
5. These students should come from well adjusted, happy, supportive, two parent homes (I was a single parent, don't get angry) with a parent who is able to work through the homework with the student on a daily basis.
6. Each student should have a parent able to volunteer in the classroom once a week.
7. Students will never be tardy, never be absent, never fall to sickness, never have doctor's appointments or have trauma in their lives.
8. These students must speak my language (English), and cannot have IEP's, learning disabilities, or any other special needs.
9. Students need to have involved parents who respect the teacher and education process. It would be best if the parents value education.
10. I should have all the financial backing I need.
11. Students should have unlimited resources to access any tools they might need.
12. Students should be fed well balanced meals, and be provided healthy snacks.

I can't think of anything else, but I am sure that someone else could think of more things to add to this list.

Does this sound ridiculous? Well, so is expecting one person to teach 30+ students with a variety of learning abilities, issues ranging from hunger to not being challenged enough, and have those students all be able to take a standardized test and pass it the first time.

Just my thoughts.